Phanguins
by Kaye Phantus
Summary: Mistaking ectoplasm for antimatter leads Kowalski's newest invention to teleport the penguins to the Far Frozen, where they find that their strange new coloring means that they're not just penguins... they're Phanguins!


**I uploaded this all as one chapter because it seems to flow better. Plus, lots of people said the first chunck was to short to be a chapter. Enjoy!**

Place: Ghost Zone

Coordinates: Unknown

Item: Vial of glowing green substance

Origin: Also unknown

Destination: Fish-shaped portal

Portal's Destination: Penguin habitat, Central Park Zoo

* * *

"Rico:" Kowalski said, working intently on his newest invention, "Pliers."

Rico hacks up and hands Kowalski said tool.

"Blowtorch," after finishing with the pliers.

"Candy cane," sticks it in his beak.

"The 5th secondary feather from a flamingo," Rico coughs up a pink feather, but Kowalski shakes his head. "No, no, Rico, I said 5th, not 4th."

"Sorry," Rico apologizes; coughing up a seemingly identical feather, except that Kowalski nods and installs this one.

_While the two had their backs turned, the aforementioned fish-shaped portal opened and closed like a blink. The now invisible vial instinctly homed in the substance that was almost exactly the same, but still strikingly unlike itself. It phazed into the box containing the other vial and overshadowed the vial._

"Now for the antimatter to create the space-time rift," Kowalski said, rubbing his flippers together. "Rico, go find Private and Skipper, and tell them that I'm absolutely sure nothing will blow up this time."

"Okay."

* * *

"But Kowalski said that the last 7 times," Skipper said. Rico had found them bathing in Marlene's pool.

"Skippa's right," Private agreed, waving his yellow scrubby pouf. "I don't know if I'll ever get all of this black stuff out of my belly feathers."

To that, Rico hacked up a bottle labeled: Oxy-Penguin (with new salmon scent).

"Let me guess," Marlene says, walking out of her cave. "Kowalski's inventing _again,_ and even 7 failures won't make him give up."

The penguins nod.

Marlene sighs. "Well, I'll be over at Phil and Mason's. They've got a new computer, and Phil signed that he'd let me update my Facebook after he's done on Fanfic.

"Darn," Skipper said, somehow or another snapping his flipper, "Guess we'll have to take 'Sneak-into-the-office-while-Alice-isn't-looking' drills off our roster."

"See you lata, Ma-lene." Private said, waving.

"M-bye, guys." Marlene replied as she walked off toward the chimp's habitat.

* * *

Meanwhile, after Rico leaves in search of Private and Skipper, Kowalski opens the instructions for his antimatter.

_First, check your antimatter color to be sure it is stable. Stable antimatter is neon blue._

Kowalski checked. Bright neon blue. So far, so good.

_Next, check for odd colorations. Small purple or green flecks mean that the antimatter is slightly unstable, but still safe to use with proper equipment. Yellow antimatter has expired, and will not yield results. DO NOT OPEN YOUR VIAL IF YOUR ANTIMATTER HAS ORANGE BUBBLES. IT IS HIGHLY UNSTABLE AND WILL REACT WITH THE OXYGEN IN THE AIR TO CREATE A SUPERNOVA. CALL CUSTOMER SUPPORT IMMEDIATELY, AND KEEP IT FROZEN UNTIL A HAZ-MAT TEAM ARRIVES._

Green flecks. Not perfect, but not deadly either.

_Finally, use caution. Even blue antimatter is still antimatter, so you will want to be very careful in using it._

_Aunty Matter's will refund your money within 90 days of purchase if the product arrived with a problem._

Kowalski carefully lifted the vial with a pair of silicone-covered beaker tongs and placed into the side of his machine. A panel slid over it, and the machine started whirring and blinking.

"It lives. IT LIVES!" Kowalski yelled.

"Kowalski." Skipper said from behind. He, Private, and Rico had just arrived. "What exactly _'lives'_?"

"Ahhh!" Kowalski jumped and spun around. "Oh, it's just you guys. What lives is my new invention."

He paused dramatically.

"The Parallel Universe Portal!"

The others stared at him like he had three heads (again). (His last experiment had had rather nasty results.)

Kowalski sighed. "Here, I'll _show_ you." He grabbed Skipper, who grabbed Private, who grabbed Rico, and jumped into the spinning blue and green vortex.


End file.
